10 Things to Know Before Filing for a DIY Divorce (That Could Save You Time, Money, and Stress)

Divorce is one of the most difficult transitions a couple can go through. Many couples want to avoid the high costs of attorneys and the stress of court battles by handling their divorce on their own — a DIY divorce. If both spouses are willing to work together, this can be a realistic option.

But while it might seem straightforward, divorce involves important financial, legal, and emotional decisions that can affect you for years. Here are 10 key things to know before you move forward with a DIY divorce, and why bringing in a neutral divorce mediator and a CDFA® can give you the best of both worlds: affordability and professional support.

1. Emotional Preparation Comes First

Before diving into paperwork, take time to prepare emotionally. Divorce can bring grief, anger, fear, or even relief. These emotions can cloud judgment and make cooperative problem-solving difficult.

A mediator provides a calm, neutral environment so both spouses feel heard. This keeps emotional outbursts from derailing the process and helps you focus on practical decisions that will benefit your family long-term.

2. Understand Your Options

DIY divorce doesn’t mean “one size fits all.” You have choices:

• File the paperwork yourselves by downloading forms from your state’s website.

• Use online divorce platforms that automate parts of the process.

• Work with a non-attorney mediator, who guides both of you through decisions around parenting, finances, and property division.

Couples who go the purely DIY route sometimes miss critical details. Mediation gives you professional structure without the hefty price tag of attorneys.

3. Finances Can Be More Complicated Than You Think

Dividing property, retirement accounts, debts, and savings isn’t just about splitting things in half. The long-term impact of these decisions can be huge. For example:

• Will keeping the house be affordable five years from now?

• How will taxes affect dividing a 401(k)?

• Who will cover future healthcare costs?

A CDFA® specializes in analyzing these financial details. They help you see not just the immediate split, but also the ripple effects in the years ahead — so both spouses leave the marriage on solid footing.

4. Custody and Parenting Plans Require Careful Thought

If you have children, creating a parenting plan is one of the most important steps. Courts want to see a schedule that prioritizes the children’s best interests. But what looks fair on paper doesn’t always work in practice.

A mediator helps you think through day-to-day realities like school drop-offs, holidays, vacations, and decision-making for education or healthcare. The goal isn’t just to satisfy the court, but to create a plan that works for your family’s unique needs.

5. Avoid Common Mistakes People Regret Later

Many DIY divorces fail because couples overlook small but critical details. For example:

• How will child support be adjusted if one parent loses a job?

• Who will pay for future college expenses?

• What happens if one parent wants to relocate?

These “what ifs” can become major battles later. Mediators are trained to raise the questions you might not think to ask, helping you avoid costly mistakes down the road.

6. Set Realistic Expectations

A DIY divorce won’t be finished overnight. There are waiting periods, required forms, and sometimes mandatory parenting classes depending on your state. On average, even uncontested divorces can take several months.

A mediator helps manage your expectations and keeps you moving through the process step by step, reducing frustration and unnecessary delays.

7. Gather Documentation Early

You’ll need to collect a wide range of documents before filing:

• Bank statements

• Retirement and investment account balances

• Mortgage and loan documents

• Tax returns

The more organized you are, the smoother the process will be. A CDFA® can help review this paperwork and point out issues you might miss — like the hidden tax cost of dividing a pension or the long-term affordability of a mortgage.

8. Communication Is Key

The success of a DIY divorce depends on whether you and your spouse can talk openly and respectfully. When communication breaks down, the process stalls or becomes adversarial.

Mediators act as facilitators, ensuring each person has a voice while keeping discussions fair and constructive. This keeps the process moving forward and prevents misunderstandings from spiraling into conflicts.

9. The Process Takes Time

Even when things are amicable, divorce involves legal steps that take time: filing paperwork, court approvals, and state-mandated waiting periods. Rushing through often leads to errors or omissions, which can cause your case to be rejected by the court.

Working with a mediator helps you stay on track and ensures everything is filed correctly the first time, saving you both time and stress.

10. Protect Your Future — Together

While saving money is often the biggest reason couples choose DIY divorce, the long-term consequences of rushed or uninformed decisions can far outweigh those savings.

By involving a non-attorney mediator and a CDFA®, you’ll protect your financial and emotional well-being, ensure your agreements are fair and sustainable, and set yourselves (and your children, if you have them) up for a smoother transition into the next chapter of life.

DIY divorce can work — but “do-it-yourself” doesn’t have to mean “do it alone.” By hiring a neutral mediator to guide conversations and a CDFA® to clarify financial realities, you’ll avoid costly mistakes, reduce stress, and feel confident knowing your agreements are built to last.

If you’re considering a DIY divorce, start by scheduling a consultation with a mediator in your area. It may be the best step you take to protect your peace of mind and your future.